First and Only Weekly Online Fanzine Devoted to the Life and Works of Edgar Rice Burroughs Since 1996 Over 10,000 Webpages and Webzines in Archive Presents Volume 3558 Our intrepid swordsman, Rick Johnson,  battles his way through pirates, cantina rogues, Star Wars veterans,  fencing masters, swashbucklers, filmmakers, and sorceresses. . . to reach the THE TARZAN SLOTS . . . and wins big!

Rick Johnson
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I made plans to visit Las Vegas for the 2011 Combat-Con, an exhibition of (mostly) European martial arts from history and fantasy.

Aside from the usual Fencing and Longsword and Rapier from the classical historical textbooks, there were also workshops on boarding a galleon during the Age of Piracy, how to fight off pirates, how to survive a cantina fight and demos from the choreographers for various movies including the guy who did the Star Wars light-saber fights.

I was talking to one guy hawking his TV series, “The Hunted” when I recognized him as Robert Chapin, the writer, director and star of one of my favorite sword movies, Ring of Steel!

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When I attended his seminar on his Series, he asked me to be an extra in the episode he was filming at the Con.  I even got lines!  “Who is that guy?”  and “I love that show!”

OK, not Shakespeare, but hey!  I got to be in a show with a great fencer who had written a great movie with REAL SWORD FIGHTING!  He spent 30 days filming the fight scenes and 2 weeks filming the movie.

Later I stopped at another table that dealt with another movie being hawked, Tales of an Ancient Empire, when I recognized the guy I was talking to as Albert Pyun, the director of Sword and Sorceress!  (liked the movie, hated the sword).  Tales starred Michael Pare’ who starred in Starhunter and after raving about that series, I was introduced to Mr Pare’ who had been listening to me politely the entire time.  They both quizzed me on how to wear a sword (there is NO comfortable way to wear a sword on your hip!  You do the best you can and deal) especially when on horseback (despite the cavalry movies, really, horses hate it when your scabbard slams into their side. It makes them want to run until they drop dead)

So I got invited to the premier of their film.

Took some classes, bought some swords, flirted with some women and generally had a good time!

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So now to the meat of the matter.

My original plan was to use my tax refund to pay for the weekend, drive to Vegas on my gas-card, eat MREs and sleep in my car in the parking lot (I hear Wal-Mart will allow this).

Then Shea offered me her timeshare at Blue-Green Resort only a couple blocks from the event!  SCORE!  Shower and bed!

Then she asked if she and her roommate, Mary Ann, could go with me!  SCORE!  They drive so I would save gas and Shea loves to cook so I get breakfast and dinner!

I did ask, "Can we stop at Henderson to find the Tarzan Slot machine?"

"Sure!  It's your vacation!"

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We left the freeway, found the Casino right there, and parked on the garage next to the elevator.

Entering the casino, I looked around and asked, “Where do you think they put it?”

Shea pointed and said, "There, you're standing next to it!"  The Tarzan Slot was right next to the elevator so I popped $5 in and played until I had won some 30 cents!

Off to Vegas!

I did the Con and Sunday, after I was finished being bruised at the fighting workshops and tired of being rejected by the few women present even though I looked really HOT in my new black Utili-kilt, I headed over the Wynn to look for the next Tarzan Slot!

“Excuse me, sir,” I asked one of the employees. “Can you tell me where the Tarzan Slots are?”

“???”

We looked around and finally found them in the middle of the slot area.

The machine happily converted my $5 bill into a ticket for 30 cents!

Then home again.

I know, not much excitement as slots are not my game (I am noted for playing strip poker on Air Force One back when it was possible to hitch a ride), though I do have bruises from the Con given by saber, axe and knife.  And I tore the seat of my pirate pants out during one workshop on boarding.

Now… next year if we can develop a Barsoom Fencing style, we can have a table and demo on that! If the Steam-punk people can do a class on sky-pirates, so can we!

Such are dreams made.

For more info, go to my website at http://Rick-Johnson.webs.com