The little snakes were looking forward to a Happy Fangsgiving. Their tongues were flickering in and out as their heads weaved from side to side, in anticipation of the dinner that was being prepared for them by Momma and Poppa Histah.

  "Is the turkey done yet?" Momma asked.

  Poppa had to keep his needle-sharp teeth clamped onto the head of the huge bird, which was flapping its one free wing weakly and pathetically. But Poppa managed to get out the words anyhow: "Not yet. I'm still constricting it. I've only got one body, you know."

  "Well, when you're done with that I need you to squish the squash," said Momma.

  "Why can't you do it?" asked Poppa.

  "Because, right now I'm finishing up the bite-size biscuits. Oh, don't get carried away and swallow that turkey whole when you're done. I promised each of the little gals a drumstick."

  "I'll try to remember," Poppa said, "but instinct being what it is, I can't make any guarantees. However, if I slip up, I can always regurgitate it."

    A voice came from the dining room. "We're having turkey?" asked Hissteria. "I thought we were going to have mongoose this year."

  "We were," said Momma. "Uncle Habu went out to find one but never came back, so we're falling back on the old reliable turkey."

  Little Hissyfit, the youngest of the Histahs, said, "Momma, are you going to melt marshland mallows on the yams?"

  "No," said Momma, "I'm going to cram berries in between each one."

  "Will there be dressing, too?" asked little Hissteria. "No dressing," said Momma. "More like un-dressing. I'm using our discarded snakeskins for potpourri table decorations."

  "What kind of pie are we having for dessert?" asked Hissyfit.

  "Micemeat, of course," smiled her mother.

  Momma finished setting the table and coiled up at one end as two little girl snakes slithered up to the side.

  "We're ready to eat," hollered Momma to the kitchen. "Is that turkey done yet?"

  "It is now," said Poppa. "It's a wrap."

   Remember: If you can't think of anything to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, be thankful you are not having dinner with the Histahs.

  Poppa Histah, for all practical purposes, was asleep, though his eyes were wide open. That was because Poppa Histah, like most snakes, had no eyelids. But he could at least relax as best he could and that was what he was doing, his full belly and the tryptophan-laced turkey he had consumed, helping him to do the snake equivalent of a dozeoff.

  It had been a good Fangsgiving and Poppa knew he had eaten too much. But the food was so good and he just couldn't stop--literally. No, he couldn't stop.

  Poppa Histah let his thoughts drift back to that holiday meal.

  Little Hissyfit and Hissteria, his snake daughters, had been promised turkey drumsticks and, true to Momma Histah's word, the bird was positioned on the table with the big drumsticks right between them. Kids will be kids, and the little girls had challenged each other to an eating contest. 

"Bet I finish before you do," said the older Hissteria to her little sister.

  Starting with the birds clawed feet, the two little constrictors had then started working their way up the drumsticks, inch by inch. However, there had been an unforeseen factor. The carving knife on the table had proven to be useless, since snakes have no hands and, unlike people, were not able to cut the legs from the turkey.

So, when Hissteria and Little Hissyfit had finally pulled themselves all the way over the drumsticks, like stretch socks being hauled onto someone's rather large feet, they both reached the sides of the bird's main body and were unable to go any further.

  Poppa Histah, meanwhile, had started at the neck and was working his way down toward the white meat. Momma, with no other options, had made the turkey's tail disappear and was now consuming the rest of the back end.

  Finally, Poppa had worked his way past the wings and he was halfway over the breasts when he bumped right into the heads of Hissteria and Hissyfit. Well, with a hungry snake, there's no turning back, and so Poppa just kept right on going, expanding his massive jaws even further to take in his kids as well, including the drumsticks they had already swallowed.

  Momma, coming up from the rear, got her delicate nostrils tickled by the twitching tails of Hissteria and Hissyfit and thought about admonishing them but then realized that they would soon be quieting down.

  Poppa was a rather large snake and also a fast eater, so, as only about three inches of his daughters tails were left sticking out from either side of his mouth, he reached Momma's head as well and had no choice but to open a little farther and start in on her.

  So, not only did Poppa get all of the turkey after all, but he got some extra nourishment from his girls, although the amount of that they could contribute was negligible, and a whole lot of nourishment from Momma Histah herself. In all, it took Poppa about an hour to consume everything and everyone.

  Then, he had settled down in front of the TV to watch the game, with the Kraits against the Garter Snakes. It was no contest, and so he was soon drifting off to La-La Land.

  But now Poppa was awake. His forked tongue flicked in and out, testing the air. No, he wasn't hungry, but he was getting a whiff of the micemeat pie, which had not been touched by anyone, since there had been no one left to demand a piece after the main meal.

  Poppa never seemed to be able to get enough of mice, probably because they were pretty small for a snake his size and catching, constricting and then swallowing one was hardly worth the trouble. But here was a full pie of them -- for him, one big bite. So, yes, Poppa decided he would eat the dessert as well, even though he was already quite full.

  "After all," he said to himself, smiling at his own little joke, "I am a pie-thon!"

  Poppa made short work of the micemeat pie and then settled down for another sleepless nap.

  "I'm going to have to rest up for awhile and digest all of this," he said to himself. "It's a little lonely here right now, but the good news is -- I won't have to eat again until Christmas!"

EDGARDEMAIN: Celebrating the literary legerdemain of Edgar Rice Burroughs

Dynamite's New Tarzan Comic Reunites Him With Sheena, Comics' First-Ever Leading Female Hero

 Dynamite’s latest Tarzan book will team him up with the undisputed Queen of the Jungle: Sheena!

Sheena, created by Will Eisner and Jerry Eiger, made her debut in 1937 before shortly getting her own comic book, Sheena, Queen of the Jungle—four years before Wonder Woman made her much vaunted debut—making her the first ever female comic book hero to get her own standalone series. 

But nearly 80 years of adventure later, she’s making her entrance in Dynamite’s range of pulp revival comics, going toe-to-toe with the legendary Tarzan.

Barbiere says, "I am truly honored to be writing Dejah Thoris, a character with such a robust history and celebrated pulp pedigree. I'm a big fan of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and to be able to contribute to the canon of one of his most celebrated characters is really exciting. This is a new start for Dejah Thoris, and I think our story is going to reignite the spark of what makes her great. It's a bold new take that really captures the spirit of Dejah as a dynamic, interesting, and capable character while exploring her past in a way that fans new and old won't expect."

"Dejah Thoris was about playing with themes and the Barsoom aesthetic," says costume designer Nicola Scott. "Plaited leathers, swooping, organic shaped armour, and gossamer fabrics seemed the right place to start. It was just a matter of playing around with shapes and proportions until it came together."

Dejah Thoris, a "Princess of Mars", debuted as the eponymous heroine of Edgar Rice Burroughs' original John Carter story (A Princess of Mars, dated 1912). While the love interest of the world-displaced Confederate soldier, the strong and talented royal never stood on the sidelines, often venturing into danger or battle -- and thus serving as a template for later science fiction heroines such as Princess Leia of Star Wars and Neytiri of James Cameron's Avatar. Since her debut in comic books in 2010, she has been an adventurous mainstay at the company.

OAK PARK—Nov. 23, 2015—The renovation of an 1898 fire house into a 21st century museum to serve Oak Park and River Forest is rapidly moving toward completion thanks to a $100,000 donation to The Historical Society of Oak Park and River Forest by Patricia and Kendall Hunt on behalf of the T. Kendall Hunt Family Foundation.

'Tarzan' OC zoo intruder ordered to mental hospital
ktvn.com ~ Nov 12, 2015 SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) - A man who claimed to be Tarzan, climbed a tree and tried to reach the monkey exhibit at an Orange County zoo has been sent to a mental hospital.

City News Service says 37-year-old John Rodenborn was ordered into a state facility Thursday after being found mentally unfit to aid in his own defense. He's facing misdemeanor charges of possessing a controlled substance and improperly entering an animal closure.

Rodenborn was arrested in August after a zookeeper reported that a shirtless, mud-plastered man claiming to be Tarzan had climbed 20 feet up a tree and was trying to get into the monkey exhibit at the Santa Ana Zoo.

Rodenborn also is facing charges that he stole a mobile phone and robbed a gas station at gunpoint in separate incidents