Earth in the future, in Burroughs' mind,
Had men from the Moon and a 30 line;

Earth in the past saw the Son of Nu,
Sticking a spear in ferocious Oo;

Apaches prowled the Sonoran hills,
But Carter was not among their kills;

The isles of Earth had savage beasts
Who hunted men to grace their feasts;

Monstrous Men in Earth's orient
Dogged a prof where'er he went;

Billy Byrne from Middle Earth
Was a brawler from his birth;

And Custer in Earth's mountains Black
Took the place of a maniac.

So Burroughs heroes, 'round the world,
Fought 'neath many flags unfurled,

And not the least of all there are:
The core of Earth: Pellucidar.

Unknown to men who live above,
The Inner World, a land to love,

Where hangs the ever noon-day sun,
A timeless world that cowards shun;

Its sailors never sail by stars,
Its beasts include fierce dinosaurs;

And quite by happenstance one day
Two outer crust men found their way

Down to Earth's fabled nether side,
Where they from henceforth would reside.

Now, let us seek this land, bizarre,
Let's go explore Pellucidar!


Ode to Some Women of Pellucidar

I don't want to romance Rhump,
Nor spoon with Sloo, nor nuzzle Shrud;
Nor listen to a fugue with Fooge,
Or watch Grum chew, as on a cud;
And poor ol' Gluck is outa luck,
Don't want these gals; their names are mud.

Mbonga in Middle Earth

Many mouths were left agape,
On reading "Tarzan of the Apes."
For in that book ERB did describe
Mbonga's fierce man-eater tribe.

Mbonga one day left his vill,
And found a cavern in a hill.
He went inside a bit too far,
And walked right down to Pellucidar.

There he fought with lizard men
Who came at him again, again.
He acquired many sore ribs
And battle scars from all these Horibs.

And of the Horibs who had died,
He would sometimes have them fried.
Sometimes boiled, sometimes roasted,
Never raw but sometimes toasted.

But, tiring of incessant battle,
Mbonga dreamed of eating cattle.
So back he went to land of birth,
The outer crust he knew as earth.

He looked for happier times above,
With singing birds and turtle doves,
With sweet sweet songs of little cherubs,
But found instead the awful Terribs.

In the comics of the Dell,
Tarzan battled Terribs well.
But some of them had got away,
And saw Mbonga as their prey.

So once again  he went to war
And many Terribs did he gore.
The tasty critters made good eatin'
With just a little bit o' heatin'

But after awhile he had to say,
"A little of this goes a long, long way."
He longed to eat some luscious spare ribs
Instead of always fighting Terribs.

And so, he returned to Pellucidar
To try a bit of baked Mahar.
But there Mbonga once again,
Found only nasty lizard men.

He opened a string of butcher shops
Which specialized in Horib chops.
The Terribs came back down to see,
What had become of their enemy.

Mbonga welcomed them to his venue
And soon had added them to his menu.
Now, on this food, to have your dibs,
Ask for Horib d'oeuvres or Terra Ribs.


Taking the Cure

David was a miner; he hunted for king coal,
And digging it was how he piled cash onto his roll.
But coal dust hit his nostrils, when wafted by a breeze,
And wasn't long 'til he was struck with deadly lung disease.

Dr. Abner Perry had exhausted every test
To try to find a cure for the clogging in his chest.
He finally ordered therapy within an iron lung,
And told him he might have a chance because he was so young.

"You need a change of climate," the doctor said to him,
"You need to go where air is clear for vigor and for vim.
"That iron lung is good for now, but I will make you whole,
"By giving you a ride in my new-fangled iron mole."

We'll run the thing into the ground because I've heard the earth
Comes with a hollow center where we'll get our money's worth.
We'll see things that no upper cruster dweller's ever seen;
And breathe in unpolluted air to make your insides clean.

They got inside the iron mole and fastened safety belts,
David looking forward to acquiring tarag pelts,
Living as a caveman, and meeting gorgeous gals,
Hanging out with other guys who'd be his hunting pals.

He chanced to meet a pretty lass whose name was Jubalee,
Menaced by an ugly villain named Die Anthony.
He told his foe, "Die, Anthony!" and slugged him with his fist,
And Jubalee became his bride; this gal could not resist.

The clean air of the inner world met David's every need,
The black coal dust within his lungs no longer did impede.
"I like it in Pellucidar, and though I'm just a temp,
"I think I'll stick around and don the new clothes of the Emp."

Because it was a greenhouse, the balance in the weather
Let Jubalee and David frolic in the altogether.
And since the sun up in the sky was always fixed at noon,
Their lived for every moment of eternal honeymoon

Now if you get an illness that the docs up here can't cure,
Just travel to Pellucidar where all the air is pure.
You'll live a long and happy life without a single snag,
Unless of course you happen to get trampled by a thag.

And on the Eighth Day…

God took out His golden knife
And sliced the earth in two,
As if it were an avocado,
Full of greenish goo.

Having done it perfectly,
The next step did proceed;
He took his giant teaspoon and
Popped out the mighty seed.

Next He took both halves and put
Them back as they had been,
With His fingers sealing up
The slit that cut the skin.

He poked a finger in the top
To make a hole quite wide
So prehistoric animals and men
Could get inside.

He looked at what He'd done
And, being God, He understood,
That He had made Pellucidar
And it was very good.

The Lure of Pellucidar

I want to go to Pellucidar,
Where Abner, David and Dian are;
Where lurks the mighty dinosaur,
And old age hardly leaves a scar.

I want to go to the Inner World,
With horizon every upward curled,
Where the Star of David is unfurled,
And from the mast of the Amoz twirled.

I don't want to go by Pole;
I want to go in the Iron Mole,
And burrow through a seam of coal,
Until I finally reach my goal.

I want to sail on the Az with Ja
(A Navy man without a flaw);
Like Heyerdahl, aboard the Ra,
His seamanship's the highest law.

I want to sail up North so far,
And attack the Port of ol' Korsar;
Just give me a ship, don't got no star
To steer 'er by in Pellucidar.

I want to roam 'neath the noonday sun,
With plenty of ammo and a trusty gun,
So leviathans that weigh a ton
Will see me coming and decide to run.

I want to take my savage mate
Out on a noonday luncheon date;
For a snorting thag we'll lie in wait,
Then eat it raw, its natural state.

I'll battle Mahars face to face,
And make them yield to the human race;
And when I'm tired of the hectic pace,
I'll put the book back in its place.