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ERB 100-Word Drabbles
March 2019 Edition ~ Days 1-15
by Robert Allen Lupton
Go to March Days 16-31 HERE
WHO'S THE MADMAN
March 1: On this day in 1967, the John Celardo Tarzan daily comic strip, "Tarzan and the Bomb" concluded in a non-explosive fashion. Tarzan's monkey is referred to as "Cheetah rather than Nkima in the story and I used Cheetah in today's drabble even though it pains me to do so.
"Who's the Madman" is today's drabble.Cheetah found a strange cylinder and called Tarzan. It was an unexploded bomb, larger than the ones Tarzan remembered from WW2. WHO'S THE MADMAN
Tarzan said, “I’ll build a fence to keep the natives away and contact the authorities.”
Holrath, an evil man, had caused the atomic bomb to fall in Africa. “Once I recover the bomb, I’ll rule the world.”
He searched for the bomb, but the jungle overwhelmed him and destroyed his mind. The authorities disarmed the bomb, and Tarzan found Holrath, a lost and gibbering madman.”“Why would a man who can’t rule himself, believe he could rule the world.”
BAD LEGAL ADVICE
March 2: On this day in 1923, Edgar Rice Burroughs incorporated as ERB Inc. and assigned the copyrights to the new corporation.
"Bad Legal Advice" is today's drabble.BAD LEGAL ADVICE “Well, Mr. Burroughs, that takes care of the incorporation paperwork. I’ll file it this afternoon and you’ll officially be Edgar Rice Burroughs Inc. Congratulations."“Thank you. Do you have the copyright assignments?”
“Yes Sir. One for everything that you’ve written that’s been published. Copyright any new work under the corporate name.”“This protects my copyright?"
“Corporations don’t die. If something happens to you, the corporation lives on. You can’t be sued as an individual. This protects everyone.”“The corporate copyrights won’t ever expire?”
“Don’t worry about a thing. Look how well your movie contracts are working.”
“That’s why I asked.”
SITUATIONAL COURAGE
March 3: An amazingly slow day in Edgar Rice Burroughs history, but on Sunday, March 3, 1985, "The Price of Honor," by Gray Morrow and Don Kraar, began in the Sunday newspapers and ran for 12 weeks.
Today's drabble based on that strip is "Situational Courage."Tarzan tracked the poacher and took his weapons. “I should kill you here, but tell me who you work for and I see you get a fair trial.” SITUATIONAL COURAGE
The poacher drew a knife. “I tell you nothing. I ain’t afraid of no monkey man.”
Tarzan disarmed him with one punch, tossed the man over his shoulder, and scampered to the treetops. He dangled the poacher by his feet.“I’ll tell. I’ll repent. Don’t let me fall. Sorry I called you names.”
I thought you might. Bravery comes easier to a man with a knife and his feet on the ground.”
ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY
March 4: On this day in 1933, Argosy Weekly published part one of Lost on Venus.
Today's Edgar Rice Burroughs inspired drabble is "Always Another Way."Carson Napier was in the Room of Seven Doors. All doors but one led to horrible deaths. The room darkened and the floor revolved. He couldn’t identify the entrance. Snakes covered the floor and a noose for suicide hung overhead. ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY
Carson choose\ a door and tharban entered and fought the snakes. Carson climbed the rope, scooted along a wooden beam, and found an 8th way out.
He saved Duare from rape. “Did you slay the beasts or find the safe door.”“No, I made my own exit. When being given several bad choices, make your own. There’s always another way.”
TREASURES ON EARTH
March 5: On this day in 1921,Argosy All-Story Weekly published part 4 of "Tarzan the Terrible." Tarzan wasn't on the cover. It was reserved for "Gas Drive In" by E. J. Rath, a comedy romance that hits every cylinder.
The drabble today is "Treasures Here On Earth."Tarzan entered Azur posing as Dor-ul-Olto, the son of god. The king was skeptical until Tarzan said, “My father chose wisely giving you a king’s spirit” TREASURES ON EARTH
Tarzan met the high priest, Lo-don.
“Dor-ul-Olto,” said Lo-don, “These people will be sacrificed to you father, Jad-ben-Olto”
“Free them. What use has a God for dead worshipers? Only the living can serve Jad-ben-Olto.”
Lo-don showed Tarzan the treasure room. “Jewels and gold for your father.”
“No god needs treasures. Give it to the poor.”
We’ve always sacrificed to god and stored treasures for him.”
“And you always been wrong. That’s why I’m here.”
DO THE RIGHT THING
March 6: On this day in 1930, Edgar Rice Burroughs was the speaker of the day at the Hollywood Breakfast Club.
"Do The Right Thing" is today's drabble.DO THE RIGHT THING “Welcome to the Hollywood Breakfast Club. Today’s speaker is the famous author, Edgar Rice Burroughs.”Edgar waved off the applause. “Gentlemen, if you haven’t read my books, I’ll have copies for sale after my speech.”
The audience laughed.
“Why do people buy my books? It isn’t my good looks.”
Burroughs struck and actor’s pose. “My heroes always do what’s right. They aren’t conflicted. Honorable men who protect women and children don’t compromise right and wrong for convenience or perceived safety”“A new threat is beginning in Europe. I hope our country has the same integrity as my heroes. Thank you.”
ARE YOU ASHAMED
March 7: On this day in 1914, Argosy All-Story Weekly published the Eternal Lover in its entirety. For me, the Modest Stein cover artwork never seemed to fit the story.
The drabble today is a one hundred word piece of doggerel verse, for which I apologize in advance, but I couldn't help myself. Here's "Are You Ashamed."ARE YOU ASHAMED
Nu, son of Nu didn’t know what to do.
He hunted the sabretooth, the mighty Oo.
He threw his spear. It cost him dear.
He awakened in a different year.
This new world had no luster.
‘till he met Victoria Custer.
His heart palpitated
For Nat-al reincarnated.
She loved him, but wouldn’t marry
“Our lives are different. Life is scary.
“If you won’t have me, let me die
My spirit to the future fly
And find us in a different life
Where you consent to be my wife.
He returned into his cave.
The walls collapsed and became his grave.
NOT WORTH THE EFFORT
March 8: On this day in 1702, Queen Anne became the Queen of England and 95 years ago in 1924, Argosy All-Story Weekly published part six of "Tarzan and the Ant Men." An old west tale by Horace Howard Heer, "Minions of the Law" was illustrated on the cover.
Today's drabble is "Not Worth The Effort."Tarzan asked Obebe, the cannibal chieftain, “Why eat other people. The jungle is full of food” NOT WORTH THE EFFORT
“People are slower than antelope, less dangerous than hippos, and smaller than elephants."
“If size matters, why don’t you eat the little men, the Trohanakalmakians, from the Thorn Forest?”
The Thorn Forest is full of briers and brambles. People our size are easier prey.”
“Than the little people?”
“The little people are tricky and they hide in the smallest places and line their homes with thorns. Besides, it takes three of them to feed one warrior. One full sized person feeds the whole tribe?"
A WAY WITH WOMEN
March 9: On this day in 1936, Whitman published the first edition of "TARZAN AND THE TARZAN TWINS WITH JAD-BAL-JA, THE GOLDEN LION." We all knew that March came in like a lion, we just didn't know which one.
"A Way With Women" is today's 100 word drabble.A WAY WITH WOMEN Glum and his followers abandoned Opar to find a new priestess. La refused to make human sacrifices.
They captured Dick, a Tarzan Twin, and Gretchen von Harben. Gretchen was to be the high priestess and Dick her first human sacrifice.The Oparians bound Dick and ordered Gretchen to sacrifice him or die herself. Tarzan arrived as she raised the knife. Jad-ba-la killed Glum.
“Dick said, “I thought she liked me. She was going to kill me.”
Doc laughed, “I’m not surprised. The way you act I expect that most women you meet will want to kill you sooner or later.”
WASTE NOT, WANT NOT
March 10: On this day in 1915, A. C. McClurg published the first edition of 'The Mastermind of Mars." The first edition print run of the 51,000 word novel was 5,000 copies.
"Waste Not, Want Not" is today's drabble.Ras Thavas met with Xaxa, the Jeddara of Phundahl. The old crone was nearly a thousand years old. WASTE NOT, WANT NOT
“Can you move brains from one body into another?”
“I’ve done it with white apes.”
“Will it work for people?”
“I believe so.”
“I have a young female captive, Valla Dia. Put my brain in her body.”
“What about her brain?”
“Destroy it. I’ll pay well.
“Ras Thavas switched the brains and bodies. Valla Dia’s brain found help and eventually recovered her body. Xaxa said, “I said to destroy her brain.”“I know, but a mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
PUT YOUR RIGHT FOOT IN
March 11: Argosy Weekly published part two of "Lost on Venus" in 1933. Burroughs didn't get the cover. It went to the story, "Law of the Rope" by some guy named Erle Stanley Gardner.
"Put Your right Foot In" is today's 100 word drabble.Carson Napier and Duare encountered the nobargan cannibals of Noobol after their escape from Kapdor. Carson was so entranced by Duare that he walked right into their camp. PUT YOUR RIGHT FOOT IN
They called him, Albargan, the no haired man. “You will be roasted for dinner. We’ve never eaten a man with no hair. This should be a treat.”
The nobargans lit the fire and a pride of tiger-like thabans attacked and savaged the camp. Carson and Duare escaped in the confusion.”
“Those men were going to eat us.”
“Cannibalism is self-defeating. Eating your own kind is a poor way to ensure tribal survival.”
FEEDING TIME
March 12: On this day eighty-seven years ago in 1932, Argosy Magazine published part one of "Tarzan and the City of Gold". The cover art is by Paul Stahr.
Today's 100 word Edgar Rice Burroughs inspired drabble is "Feeding Time."The outlaw band of shiftas had a prisoner. After dark, Tarzan attempted to free him. The shiftas woke and surrounded Tarzan and Valthor, the prisoner. FEEDING TIME
A lion leaped the camp’s thorn bomba and the shiftas panicked.
Tarzan grabbed one outlaw and threw him to the lion. The lion ravaged the man and dragged him from the camp.
Tarzan and Valthor escaped. Once they learned each other’s language, Valthor said, “You threw that man to the lion.”
“Of course. I found that doing so accomplishes two things. First, the man will leave you alone. More importantly, it makes the lion happy.”
DRESS THE PART
March 13:"Tarzan's Peril" was released on this day in 1951
The film was directed by Byron Haskin and starred Lex Barker as Tarzan and Virginia Huston as Jane, and featured Dorothy Dandridge as "Melmendi, Queen of the Ashuba. Part of the film was shot in Kenya, making it the first Tarzan film to be filmed in Africa. The costumes were considered risqué for the time.
"Dress the Part" is today's drabble.Virginia Huston said, “Miss Dandridge, I’m a little concerned about our costumes. I think they might be too revealing.” DRESS THE PART
“I show my shoulders and legs. I wear less than that when I sing and dance. I haven’t seen your costume.”
“Mine’s almost exactly the same. Well, I’m not playing a queen, but my shoulders and arms are bare and my legs are exposed.”
“Relax. We’re both wearing more than if we were swimming.”
“It doesn’t seem dignified.”
“You want dignified. How about Lex. He has to wear a loincloth and scream like a strangled hyena. You don’t hear him complaining.
FLAG OF OUR FATHERS
March 14: On this day in 1925, All-Story Weekly published part four of "The Moon Men".
"The Buddhism of Hogler Headstone" by Philip Robert Dillon was featured on the cover. The art was by Paul Stahr.
"Flag of Our Fathers" is today's 100 word Edgar Rice Burroughs inspired drabble.In 2020, The Kalkars ruled Earth with an iron hand. Churches, religion, and symbols of America were forbidden. Owning an American flag was a capital offense. FLAG OF OUR FATHERS
Julian 9 displayed a flag briefly during a political argument, but was betrayed to the Kush Guard, traitorous men who enforced the Kalkar rules. The Kush set their gigantic dogs, the horrible Hellhounds on Julian.
He battled valiantly and killed his attackers. He hid the flag and resumed his life until the taxes, abuse, and random punishments became unbearable. “Thus be it ever where free men shall stand. I choose to stand and fight.”
WALK LIKE A MAN
March 15: On this day in 1929, A. C. McClurg published "The Monster Men." After I read the book, I never looked at Number Thirteen the same way again.
The drabble for today is "Walk Like A Man."Virginia asked, “What’s your name?” WALK LIKE A MAN
“Thirteen.”
“That’s a number.”
“My father’s monsters are named with numbers one through thirteen.”
“You aren’t a monster.”
“I’m my father’s creation.”
“But, you aren’t evil like Dr. von Horn. He lusts for me and will kill anyone who stands in his way. Help me.”
“He’s not a creature of the vats. Father forbade me to fight real men.”
“Circumstances of birth don’t make someone a man. His flesh may look pretty, but his evil goes deep to his bones.”
She embraced Thirteen and he suddenly felt honorable and strong. “I’ll die protecting you.”
