July 31, 1941

Dear Papa,

Both Jane and I were very sorry to learn
of the necessity of a divorce between you and Florence.
Above all things, believe me, we have wished for 
your happiness. Now, as always, we are eager to do any-
thing to help you find in the future the happiness and
contentment you deserve.

I think your idea of building and living in a
house of your own is a good one, although I still cannot
agree with the choice of your location, believing it to
be too darn close to your place of business. I'm afraid
that the worries you will conjure up in the office will
be too readily carried across the alley to your home.
However, if you promise never again to worry I shall agree
to finance the building of your house myself with the
legacy that I have just acquired from the estate of a rich
uncle in Siam. Nuts? Yes Siam.

Seriously, however, since you are a stubborn
cuss and will insist on building here eventually anyway,
after you get back and see how your business is prospering,
I'm going down to talk with Ralph and see if we can't get 
started on it before you come home.

Johnny Davis, the model who has been working with 
me for several years and whom I liked so much has gone
back to Texas to join the army air corp. Since I need another 
model badly for JOHN CARTER in the newspaper feature, I put
an ad in last Sunday's paper for one. You ought to see
what turned up. I stated that I wanted an athlete 6' 3" or
over and the first guy who showed up was a little filipino
about Mike's size. The next bloke was tall enough but he
had a beard and adenoids and his arms looked like a couple 
of jointed arrows dangling out of some bony ribs. One
fellow I talked to on the phone, I thought his voice sounded 
queer; but he said he'd just had an operation on his sinus.
He sent me his pictures and I think he must have been 
upside down when they operated on him. He was the one who
said when I asked him if he was well-muscled: "My muthels
aren't the knotty kind, if thath what you mean - they're
more the flowing type !" They were so flowing that they'd all
flowed off his body.

And so it goes. Yesterday I sent to a model agency
and pored over a bunch of photos. Gorgeous things were
walking all around the agency and I kept forgetting what I
had come there fore. I finally lined up a young man with a
beautiful build and I start work with him tonight. I think
I'll go around to those agencies more often.

Have received and read your masterpiece 
entitled "Uncle Miner and Other Relatives". I have not
yet received your letter explaining why and how it was
written, although I presume you were under the influence of
either narcotics or heredity at the time. STOP. GO. It
is very amusing and full of good laughs. I am giving it to
Joan and Hulbert for their edification. 

Please keep us informed how you feel and know
that we are thinking of you constantly.

Love,

Dear Pop,

         This red half of my typewriter ribbon may as well
be put to work.

          Consider this red ink as the blood I am using to wipe
out the dastardly, yes, even bastardly insults contained
in your last letter.  My kindly, sincere suggestions, however
simple,merited no such pusilanimous, paternal belchings.

          Don't you realize the Valley is in the blood of all
the Burroughs? Of all the places on earth where your life
long dream of becoming an absolute monarch is most likely
to be realized Tarzana is the most probable ! Just picture
it - E.R.B. seated on a throne piled of the choicest Adohr
cow dung ruling his subjects with an iron hand !

          And imagine - in that happy little community of Burroughses
not a single salesman need be allowed to live.

          I shall bide my time to repay Ralph for his insult to
us both in calling me a chip off the old block . Are you
certain he only said "chip"?

          As this is Memorial Day I shall now close, warning you
to never insult your liege and hair-non-apparent

          Your devoted servant kisses your feet.
 

Dear Jane & Jack:

Your message was very exciting.  Hulbert and I had been discussing the 
coming event, and had come to the conclusion that it should occur about
the 21st or 22; so we were not wholly surprised.

I like the name, which proves that I am not an orthodox grandparent.
Not even running true to form as a relative, all of whom are usually
disgusted with any name selected by parents.  John Ralston Burroughs
will make a swell monacker for publicity purposes.  Did you read Selz-
nik's article in a recent Satevepost?  He attributed my success largely
to my name.  On the other hand, Michael Arlen stated that no first class
writer had three names.  I never have had any confidence in starving
Armenians since we had one cooking for us.

We were very happy to know that all were well, including the proud father.
I hope Jane didn't have a very hard time.  I know that Jack did, as fat-
ers always do.  Did Ralph get through it all right?  As he has carried
the domestic burdens of the family for years, I can imagine that he may
have been called upon to do everything but have the baby.  I know that
he will approve of John Ralston if he hasn't any teeth, which Ralph con-
siders are wholly unnecessary if not actually fatal.  If he has no hair,
I can approve of him 100%.

I put in a call for Hulbert as soon as I received the radiogram, but it
took me all day to get him.  He is very busy galloping around the Island 
photographing generals and such. He seems quite happy and contented. 
There is not much news. I saw a new Tarzan picture advertised in this
morning's paper.  I think it is called Tarzan Find a Treasure, or somepn.
I got down to the first show at 9:30 A.M. and found a line over a block
long on one side of the street and the sidewalk on the other side jammed
with people waiting.  Several policemen were on duty regulating the
wild-eyed crowd.  So I didn't see the picture.

Lots of love to all three of you.  Send me a picture of John Ralston
as soon as he becomes photogenic.

 
Dear Jack:

I was slightly confused on receipt of a couple of parcels from
you a day or two ago; but my giant intellect finally started
clicking, and I came to a full realization of what it was all 
about.

On the 24th, Lt. Walter H. Wieman, MC, USNR, phoned me about
11:45 AM and told me that he had promised you that he would
look me up.  So I asked him to lunch.  He had his skipper with
him.  I took them to The Outrigger Canoe Club and then drove 
them around while they did some shopping.  Wieman said that he
had visited you and Jane about ten three years.  It was great to
talk with some one who had seen you so recently.  Wieman wanted
to see Hully, and Hully is trying to get in touch with him.

As usual, I am a little slow on the pick-up; but, anyway, many
happy returns of the day!

Hope that Jane is not having too uncomfortable a time.  At best,
I guess it ain't no fun.  But it's swell in your declining years
to have nice children - as I so well know.  Still, I am not de-
clining everything.  The trouble is, people won't leave me alone. 
They even drag me out of bed to contribute to my delinquency.
Of course I know that it is because I am in the same category as
the two headed boy; but I do have a good time, and sometimes I
think that maybe I had a good time coming to me. 

Hulbert and I continue in the best of health. Yesterday, I got
my third and last typhus shot, after having another tetanus and
a booster typhoid. I never get any unpleasant reaction to these
shots; so I asked the doctor yesterday if that indicated anything
in particular.  He said that it indicated a natural immunity, or
at least high resistence, to these diseases.  That is nice, but
I wish that they had some shots for the things that are prevalent
where I am going - dysentery, dengue, and malaria.

Lots of love to all of you. If you have any new snapshots, let 
me see some. I'd like to see what JR looks like now.

OB

Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc.
Tarzana, California
Telephone Rugby 6-1222
1298 Kapiolani Boulevard
Honolulu 42 Hawaii

September 16 1944

Dear Jane:

Was glad to have your letter of the 8th and to know that every-
thing is going so well.  As you didn't mention the children, I 
assume that they are O.K.

I haven't had a letter from you since a short note dated August 7.
But I don't expect to hear form you often, as I know how busy you
must be with two babies.  I wish that I might see them.

There is not much news here that you can't read in your papers.
When Jack Benny was here this week I had him and Larry Adler at
lunch at the Outrigger Canoe Club with some of my friends.  The
next day we all went as Jack's guests to see his show at one of 
the recreation centers here.  We had staff cars and a motorcycle
escort of MPs.  I rode to and from with Carole Landis.  She is
very lovely and very sweet. (Oh, to be seventy again!)  The aud-
ience at the show was almost as interesting as the show - some
18,000 to 20,000 service men.  They ribbed Jack, which is part of
every show he gives for them.  He is a swell guy - with no swelled 
head.

Joan must be home by now.  I had one letter from her from Evanston,
and was delighted to know how good a time she was having.

Am going out to Hickam this afternoon, and shall try to see Hulbert.
Tomorrow, I am invited to a party at the Hallidays on the other side
of the island.  He is John Halliday the stage and screen actor.  On
account of rubber and gas I have not seen much of them lately, as it
is quite a trip over the Pali to Kaneohe where they live.

My love to all of you!
Ed