Official Edgar Rice Burroughs Tribute and Weekly Webzine Site Since 1996 ~ Over 15,000 Webpages in Archive Volume 7466a  |
ERB 100-Word Drabbles
JANUARY IV Edition :: Days 16 - 31
See Days 1 - 15 at ERBzine 7466
by Robert Allen Lupton
With Collations, Web Page Layout and ERBzine Illustrations and References by Bill Hillman
WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING RULES
January 16: On this day in 1979, actor Ted Cassidy, who appeared as Tarzan on NBC’s “Storybook Squares” and as Sampson in the “Jungle Ransom” episode of and Ron Ely’s Tarzan, died in Los Angeles from complications that arose after open heart surgery. Cassidy was the voice of Phobeg for 36 episodes of the animated television series, “Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle.”
Details about the Ron Ely Tarzan are located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7420.html and about the animated Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag27/2799.html
Cassidy, Lurch on the Adams Family, appeared in three Star Trek episodes, “Lost in Space,” and “I Dream of Jeannie.” He was Bigfoot in the “Six Million Dollar Man,” As a voice actor for Hanna-Barbera, he was the Thing In “The New Fantastic Four,” Montaro in “Jana of the Jungle,” and King Thun of the Lion Men on “Flash Gordon. ‘
He had a memorable appearance in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,”
The drabble for today is “We Don’t Need No Stinking Rules.”
WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING RULES
Sampson said, “Fight me. You win, he goes free.”
Cheetah jeered from the trees. Tarzan said, “Quiet,
me and Sampson got to get the rules straightened out.”
Sampson brandished his knife. “Rules, No rules in a
knife fight.”
“No rules. Let’s get started.”
Cheetah hit Sampson in the head from behind with a
large rock and quickly stole his wallet.”
Tarzan smiled. “Cheetah, I guess that makes you a
recording artist. You just rocked and rolled the giant!”
WAR IS HELL
January 17: On this day 80 years ago in 1942, Edgar Rice Burroughs, the world’s oldest war correspondent, published comments from readers of his column, “Laugh It Off,” in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin.
Some were funny and some weren’t. The photo with today’s “On This Day,” article is of WW2 era blackout automobile headlight covers.
All of this columns are available to read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag17/1754.html#17
The drabble for today is “War is Hell!,” and it’s taken from that column.
Come on with the brickbats; I love ‘em. Having withstood a barrage of them from the book reviewers of both hemispheres for some 30 years, the efforts of amateurs do not appall me.
A new sentry who had shot a pedestrian explained to an officer: “I said, ‘Halt! ‘Halt” Halt’ three times, but he just kept on standing still, so I shot him.”
Here is one of the most intelligent criticisms of a blackout that I have heard: ‘It’s too dark.”
JUST HORSING AROUND
January 18; On this day in January 1946, ERB’s penultimate “Laugh it Off,” columns was published in “Hawaii Magazine." The world’s oldest war correspondent originally wrote the columns to build moral in 1942 following the attack on Pearl Harbor. The entire January 1946 column is available to read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag17/1755.html#january46
The drabble, “Just Horsing Around,” for today is one of the stories from that column, written by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Sometimes a horse has a sense of humor, but sometimes a horse is a horse, of course.
JUST HORSING AROUND
ONE AND ONLY
January 19: On this day in 1955, artist Thomas Yeates was born in Sacramento, California. He is best known for illustrating Prince Valiant Sunday pages, Conan, Zorro, and the works of Edgar Rice Burroughs, including “Tarzan: The Beckoning” #s 1-7 for Malibu Comic in 1992-1993. He went on to illustrate a total of 15 Tarzan comics, many for Dark Horse. ”The Return of Tarzan" featured his adaptation into comics Edgar Rice Burroughs second Tarzan novel.
In 2017 Thomas worked hard on a revised softcover collection of "The Beckoning". He redrew several panels and re-colored almost each page.
Thomas’s website is: https://www.thomasyeates.com/
Interviews and artwork by the artist are also available at: http://www.tarzan.org/yeates/
Happy Birthday, Thomas. Thank you for your work.
The drabble for today, “One and Only,” features my old friends, Pat and John from New Orleans.
ONE AND ONLY
“Yep, picked it up along with “The Once and Future Tarzan.” I love the Thomas Yeates art, love the story, but the titles seem reminiscent of Highlander movies.”
“John, there are a lot of similarities. Christopher Lambert played the Highlander and Tarzan. Sean Connery appeared in a Tarzan movie and the Highlander films. Tarzan and the Highlander are both immortal. Tarzan drank the witch doctors potion.”
“In the end there can be only one.”
“Yes, Korak said, “There is but one Tarzan. There
can never be another.”
WASH AWAY YOUR TROUBLES
January 20: On this day in 1943, the world’s oldest war correspondent, Edgar Rice Burroughs, who was attached to the First Island Command, wrote a letter to his daughter Joan from somewhere in the South Pacific. If you’d wanted to write a letter to ERB in those days, you would have addressed the letter to Edgar Rice Burroughs APO 502. APO stood for Army Post Office, although rumors persist that it stands for “All Points Outward,”
In the letter, https://www.erbzine.com/mag10/1025.html#20%20January, Burroughs references his son Hulbert’s promotion, his obsession with autographs, and self-evaluation of his performance as a war correspondence. He also misses being clean. Spiders were a regular complaint by ERB during his time in the Pacific, and in later years some of his health issues were blamed on spider bites.
Today’s drabble, “Wash Away Your Troubles,” is an excerpt from that letter.
WASH AWAY YOUR TROUBLES
HARD TIMES
January 21: On this day in 1900, Edgar Rice Burroughs married, Emma Centennia Hulbert, the daughter of a prosperous Chicago hotel owner. Emma, the mother of Ed’s three children, Joan, Hulbert, and John Coleman, served as the sounding board and main critic of ERB’s novels. She did the first proofreading of his manuscripts, a task she continued to perform for most of her life.
A tribute to Emma, written by her son, Hulbert, remains unpublished, but a portion, “Mother Died Today,” may be read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag67/6750.html
The drabble for today, “Hard Times,” is 100 words taken from Hulbert’s tribute to his mother.
HARD TIMES
TRUTH TO TELL
January 22: On this day in 1934, Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote a letter to his son, John Coleman Burroughs, whom he called ‘Jack.’ Jack was living in Claremont, California, I assume attending college.
The primary thrust of the letter was that ERB had been secretly taking flying lessons, but that his wife, Emma, had found out. ERB went on to say that his son, Hulbert, was planning to learn to be a pilot.
Hulbert did take lessons, but less than a month latter, he crashed on a golf course – escaping with minor injuries. Son-in-law James Pierce (Tarzan and the Golden Lion and Tarzan on radio), became an accomplished pilot and was active with the Air National Guard during WW2.
The entire letter, and several more are available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag62/6261.html
The drabble for today, “Truth To Tell,” is 100 words, excerpted from that letter.
TRUTH TO TELL
I kept it a secret because I didn't want anyone to worry until I had my pilot's license. In other words, I’m taking flying lessons. Mama and Hulbert came out to watch me take a lesson yesterday, but before I did they went up in a Stinson cabin job. It was mamma's first flight and she enjoyed it.
Hulbert is going to start taking lessons; and I presume that when you are through college, you will follow suit.
CHAIN OF FOOLS
January 23: On this day in 1930, Edgar Rice Burroughs sent out a chain letter according to the instructions contained therein. He added a small poem of apology.
I never did this thing before ~ Nor shall I do it ever more ~ Forgive my first! ~ Of all the goddam pests there be ~ Chain letter writers seem to me ~ By far the worst ~ But when the Prince of Wales I see ~ And others of celebrity ~ I almost burst ~ With pride and with avidity ~ I seize my pen and send to thee ~ This thing accurst."
Others on the chain included George Bernard Shaw, Henry Ford, Dorthy Dix, John Barrymore, and Andrew Mellon.
I saw a version of this same chain letter sometime in the early 1970s. I expect that it had been making the rounds all those years. For all I know, it still is. There could be a woman’s version of this chain letter out there, but I doubt it. Can’t imagine that a woman would be able to put up with the crap from 15,000 men.
More details about the chain letter are available at:
http://www.erbzine.com/mag21/2173.html
The drabble for today is “Chain of Fools,” and
it is 100 words long. It contains the entire chain letter with the edition
of seven words. I have also removed some egregious typos from the letter.
CHAIN OF FOOLS
This chain was started in Reno, Nevada in the hope of bringing happiness to all the tired business men around the world. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost the participants any money. Simply send a copy of this letter to five male friends.
Then bundle up your wife and send her to the fellow
whose name heads the list. When your name works to the top you receive
15,389 gorgeous girls. Just have faith.
Do not break the chain. One man broke the chain and
got his wife back. Woe to him.”
YOU NAMED THE BABY, WHAT?
January 24: On this day in 1930, Edgar Rice Burroughs submitted his epic ten-page poem, “Genghis Khan,” to Good Housekeeping Magazine using the pseudonym, Edar Burr. The poem was rejected.
The 2,215 word epic consists of 20 14-line stanzas. The entire poem is available to read at https://www.erbzine.com/mag58/5880.html
The poem was written 26 years before the “The Conqueror” starring John Wayne as Genghis Khan graced America’s movie theaters. As a second aside, DNA evidence indicates that sixteen million men are descended from Genghis Khan.
The 100 word drabble, “You Named the Baby, What?” is taken from the first stanza of ERB’s unpublished poem, ”Genghis Khan.”
YOU NAMED THE BABY, WHAT?
While Houlan labored in Yesukai's yurt
Her lord and master rode, for war begirt;
Nor either shirked the risk nor shrank the hurt.
And when the Khan of Yakka came back again
And raised the tent flap of his desert home,
He brought a captive chief through sleet and rain
To share the hearth beneath the yurt's pierced dome,
But in the valor of his captive guest
And named his man-child for him - Timujin.
Proud Houlan smiled and kissed her baby then,
Though, as she nursed him, little did she ken
She nursed the future Ruler of All Men.
THE BARSOOMIAN DECEPTION
January 25: On this day in 2021, Geary Gravel competed writing “John Carter of Mars: Gods of the Forgotten" and submitted the manuscript to Edgar Rice Burroughs Inc.
Geary’s novel is astonishingly well researched and contains hundreds of references to the original books by Edgar Rice Burroughs. The level of accuracy is amazing. The book fits well in the new “Edgar Rice Burroughs Universe" series and is a worthy addition to the tales of Barsoom.
Cover art is by Chris Peuler. Ann Tonsor Zeddies’s story, “Victory Harben: Stormwinds of Va-nah,’ continues the overarching storyline taking place in the first four novels of “The Edgar Rice Burroughs Universe."
Geary Gravel is the author of the Philip K. Dick Award finalist The Alchemists, as well as the novels The Pathfinders, A Key for the Nonesuch, and Return of the Breakneck Boys. He has also written several novelizations, including Hook, based on the Steven Spielberg film, and Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, based on the animated movie. He lives in western Massachusetts, where he worked for decades as a Sign Language Interpreter for the Deaf.
The drabble for today is taken fromhttps://www.edgarriceburroughs.com/ where the book is available. Let’s call it “The Barsoomian Deception.”
THE BARSOOMIAN DECEPTION
KING'S WAY OR THE HIGHWAY
January 26: On this day in 1968, the 48th episode of “Tarzan” starring Ron Ely was broadcast. The episode, “King of the Dwsari” featured Robert Loggia as smooth talking American, Arthur Brown, who has convinced the Dwsari tribe to make him their king. When Tarzan tries to remove Brown, the apeman is imprisoned, but he soon escapes and restores the rightful ruler to throne.
Loggia has over three hundred screen and film credits. For those of us in New Mexico, Loggia is remembered as the lead in the Disney film, “The Nine Lives of Elfego Baca.” Elfego Baca, a real man, is remembered as a folk hero in the Land of Enchantment.
The drabble for today is “King’s Way or the Highway,” and it was inspired by that episode.
KING'S WAY OR THE HIGHWAY
Brown smiled. “The old king never did anything. I told them they deserved a strong king. who would get things done.”
“All you’ve done is take their wealth, their women, and most of the food. It’s like the parable about king log and king stork. The log king did nothing, but the stork king ate the pond’s residents.”
“My kingdom, my rules!”
“For now, but they’ll soon learn that it’s better
to be without a king than to have a bad one.”
HE HUFFED AND HE PUFFED
January 27: On this day in 1918, the silent film, “Tarzan of the Apes,” starring Elmo Lincoln and Enid Markey debuted at New York’s Broadway theatre. The lobby was decorated as a jungle, complete with many stuffed animals – including a lion which producers claimed Lincoln had killed during filming.
Information about the film is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag5/0503.html
The film, directed by Scott Sidney, originally ran for 120 minutes. A 61 minute version is available to watch in several places, including YouTube
The drabble for today is “He Huffed and He Puffed.” It was inspired by the acting technique of Elmo Lincoln.
HE HUFFED AND HE PUFFED
Elmo puffed out his chest, put his hands on his hips, and held up his head.
Later the director said, “Show your love for Enid now.
Elmo puffed out his chest, turned his head sideways, and winked at her.
For fear, Elmo puffed his chest and looked down. His rage looked remarkably like his confusion, which was indistinguishable from sorrow.
Sidney said, “Elmo, can you do anything but puff out
your chest.”
“I can tuck my knees and lean forward.”
“Why?”
“That’s just how I roll!”
HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO
January 28: On this day in 1996, artist Burne Hogarth passed away in Paris, France. Born as Spinoza Bernard Ginsberg in Chicago, Hogarth is best remembered for his work on the Tarzan newspaper strips and Tarzan graphic novels.
His “Dynamic Illustrations’ series focused on the principles of design, are still considered among the best. The six books include ‘Dynamic Anatomy,” Drawing Dynamic Hands,” and “Drawing the Human Head.”
A member of the “Will Eisner Hall of Fame”, Hogarth was a well-respected instructor and speaker, well known for his lengthy and far-flung speeches, that might contain phrases like paint me the sound of a branch floating in the river.
Hogarth, like Burroughs, held a number of jobs before he became an artist. He said, “I’ve sold shoes, hawked newspapers, jerked sodas, gazed rapturously at the tinsel dream at the end of a runway from my usher’s aisle in a burley-cue, and drove a truck.” It’s good that he finally picked up a pencil.
The drabble for today, “Holding Out For a Hero,” was inspired by Hogarth’s illustrations, with thanks to Bonnie Tyler. ‘He’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight.”
HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO
“The way the writer wrote him, Tarzan was much more than normal.”
“But shouldn’t he look more normal?”
“People don’t want heroes to be normal men or women. They want a Robin Hood who never misses, a Hercules who never falters, a Dutch boy who never abandons his post, and a beautiful Joan of Arc triumphing in polished armor. I draw a Tarzan, whose strength is legendary, and whose honor, bravery, and faithfulness shows in my every brushstroke.”
DON'T GROW UP
January 29: On this day in 2008, Manuel Padilla, Jr. passed away at age 51 in Pomona, California. Padilla played Jai in fifty-six episodes of the Ron Ely Tarzan television show, Ramel in “Tarzan and the Valley of Gold,’ and Pepe in “Tarzan and the Great River.”
He also appeared in the classic film “American Graffiti, and the never to be forgotten, “Taffy and the Jungle Hunter.”
The drabble for today is “Don’t Grow Up,” and it was inspired by Manuel Padilla’s short career.
DON'T GROW UP
“No, sir. I’ve played the same character with three different names, Jai, Ramel, and Pepe. Tarzan’s young sidekick.”
“You’re okay with that?”
“Sure. I’m thirteen years old, I get paid to hang out in the jungle, play with elephants, chimpanzees, and even the occasional lion. I’ve ridden zebras and ostriches, played with big snakes, and made friends with rhinos and hippos. What’s not to like.”
“Someday, you’ll have to grow up.”
“Mr. Ely, people never really grow up, they just learn
to behave in public!”
SAME TIME, NEXT TIME
January 30: On this day in 1937, Argosy Magazine published part four of “Back to the Stone Age.” Argosy serialized what would become ERB’s fifth Pellucidar novel under the title “Seven Worlds to Conquer.” The first installment featured a cover by Emmett Watson. This installment’s cover by Rupolph Belarski illustrated “The Ace of Emeralds” by Donald Barr Chidsey. Chidsey wrote hundreds of adventure stories for the pulps, specializing in sea tales and great white hunter stories.
Two of the other adventure stories in the issue were “The Valley of Magic Men” by Richard Wormser and “The Ghost Tiger of Everest” by Gordon MacCregh. The prolific MacCreigh contributed over 200 stories to the pulps, most of them hunting or jungle adventures.
“Seven Worlds to Conquer” aka “Back to the Stone Age” tells the story of Wilhelm von Horst, who became lost and was left behind to battle for his own survival at the end of the previous novel, “Tarzan at the Earth’s Core.” Interestingly enough, the heroine and love interest for von Horst is a woman of Lohar named “La-Ja” – a name reminiscent of a certain priestess from Opar.
Details about the novel, its publishing history, and several magnificent illustrations are located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag7/0745.html
Remembering of course, that Pellucidar is a savage world where the sun doesn’t move and the inhabitants have no awareness of time, the drabble for today is “Same Time, Next Time.” A nod of the thanks to Tom Hanks from Castaway and Forrest Gump.
SAME TIME, NEXT TIME
I’ve been castaway here. Abandoned by my companions
to die alone.”
La-Ja said. “You not alone. Lots of people live here.”
“I must find my people quickly. Time rules over us
all without mercy.”
What is this time thing?”
“Time keeps everything from happening all at once.
How do you know when to do things?”
“Simple. We eat when we’re hungry, sleep when we’re
tired, and when we have to go – we go.”
January 31: On this day in 2004, Eleanor Holm died at age 90. On this day 48 years ago in 1974, her costar in the movie, “Tarzan’s Revenge,” Glenn Morris died at age 61, Their film “Tarzan’s Revenge" had opened to terrible reviews on January 7, 1938 and could arguably be said to have died less than a month later on January 31, 1938. Tarzan had less screen time in this film than in any other. There’s a reason. Except for minor appearances in documentaries and the like, “Tarzan’s Revenge” effectively ended both of their careers.
Not only was Eleanor considered a bad actress, but she was thrown off the 1936 Olympic swimming team for allegedly drinking, smoking, and other questionable behavior.
After the film, Morris played four games with the Detroit Lions, worked as an insurance agent, and, in WW2, served as a naval office in the Pacific, where he was injured commanding a landing craft. He suffered from psychological-trauma issues the rest of this life.
Details about the film may be viewed at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0619.html
The drabble for today was inspired by the death of the film “Tarzan’s Revenge,” and the coincidently day of death for both of its featured actors. Here’s “Lead The Way.”
LEAD THE WAY
Eleanor said, “This is wonderful. We’ll be famous movie stars.”
“Dear, you were the worse actress ever and this film is dying at the box office faster than a floundered fish.”
“Glenn, that’s so mean. This will be a special day for us.”
“This day will be a curse for us.”
“It’s not like we’re Jefferson and Adams. We aren’t going to die on a January 31 the way they died on July 4th.”
“Well, Eleanor, I’m sure I’ll go first. Only the good die young.”
